December 08, 2009

Set Them Free

If you love somebody set them free.

How many times have you heard its interpretation–
If you love someone, set her free. If she comes back, she’s yours.
If she doesn’t, she never was.
I’ve heard it hundred times and each time I’ve heard this,
I felt something’s wrong in there… and finally I know what!

Do you really think that if you love someone and that someone,
for some reason, feels detached or slipping out of the relationship,
you should just set them free and let them be and actually slip out?
No. I don’t think so.
I think one should make an effort, never let them go, hold them,
trust them, love them, and cherish them. You can’t just ‘let it be’
if you see the love fading out, provided you really are in love.

The 'love' I mentioned here is not only about love towards
your girlfriend/boyfriend, but about pure love in any relationship.
Love towards your partner, love towards your kids...

Here I would like to express my version of the meaning for this quote.
"If you love someone, let them free."

It just means give that person his/her own personal space.
Let him/her the freedom we all want and don’t allow the relationship
to reach a stage that it becomes a liability.
The quote is something based on trust.
A relationship can only bloom when there is mutual trust and respect
for each others individuality.

In this context, free does not mean, free to “date other people”
or anything like that. It means free to explore life as the individual
they are before they became a part of a couple.

But in our society, once enter into a relationship, most of us
are in a cage, obeying or adjusting with somebody else's interests.
When a bride begin to start these kinda adjustments, our society will
give her a good certificate. We are not concerned if she is satisfied
in life. And most of the gentlemen are acting like enjoying their life
without actual freedom.

Mutual trust and respect is inevitable for a good relationship.
And the "freedom" comes from that trust.

So "If you love somebody set them free".


zorba said...

"If u love someone, let them free."

If u truly love a person, your happiness lies in the happiness of the person you love. How can a person be happy if he is not free??? You can be happy just by knowing that the other person is happy...No bonds. No ties.No possessiveness. No expectations.

Roopa said...

If I set someone I love free then I don't love them anymore

Anonymous said...

I came across this blog while searching for information on Kerala tourist places. A good blog by a young man who shares his thoughts. As an occasional counselor for college students, I have the following comments. On the basis of increasing degree of possessiveness, there are essentially three types of Man-Woman relationships: 1.Friend, 2. Blood relation (sister, mother, daughter), and 3.Lover (wife). In true friendship there is no possessiveness. Among blood relations the degree of possessiveness varies from time to time. A father’s possessiveness of his daughter decreases after she gets married. Possessiveness is a natural thing to happen when a man and woman fall in love because true love demands that lovers derive happiness from an inseparable co-existence, if not at the same physical space, at least at the same mind space. A person in love may respect the other person’s need for space but still will be possessive. If there is no possessiveness, there is no true love, only friendships and ‘adjustments’ remain. That is the bottom line. When a lover develops cold feet it is an indication that she/he is either trying to come out of the relation slowly without actually spelling it out or trying to redefine the role from a lover to a friend or some one who just ‘adjusts’ due to certain compulsions. Those who tolerate their love to be shared with another person fall in one of the following categories: 1. Those who are in love but can not openly display it due to holding certain positions (as in extramarital relations, or a priest vowed to celibacy); 2. Those who get a thrill from love adventures such as wife swapping, phone/internet flirting, elder woman having an affair with an young man or vice versa etc and 3. Those who suffer from mental weakness, physical weakness, financial compulsions or 4. Those who are part of a flesh trade. Everyone else will be possessive in love. Human psyche demands it. Period.

White Rose said...

i am agreeing with u........ its true that we should give space for our partner... but the space should not be more so that the other can live without u...... ;).. understanding,faith etc etc.. are easy to say.. but in real life.... its very difficult to c such kind of true relations....exceptions are always there..........

Nijo John said...

straight as an arrow.... anubhavangal paachalikal.... "let them free" ennu paranjavane ente kayyil kittyal onnu kodukkanam ennu vicharicha time undu... free space chilappo nammal vicharikkunnathinekkal akannu pokum...